God’s Purpose in My Pain

Circumstances are real; good or bad, expected, or unexpected, they occur every day and are experienced by everyone.  Some may be more tragic than others, but in the moment, they are exactly as they are, external events that cause a shift or sudden disruption to life as we know it.

“March 7, 2004 will forever be engraved into my heart — I witnessed my mom taking her very last breath!  It was such an amazing gift to see, but a difficult gift to receive.  Time seemed to stop, my body numb, my life seemed motionless.  Death had taken over outside.” (Coming Out of the Water: OneHEART pg. 23)

Circumstances initiate change. 

Change is an on-going and sometimes grueling process. For many, change isn’t easy under “normal” circumstances, and it is especially difficult to embrace and endure during times of great loss and suffering. These events can produce a state of unrest and uncertainty, leaving questions without answers, feelings without meaning, and movements without direction. We are simply left asking the question why? The answer to this question will either be life-defining or life creating and will have a huge impact on the future direction of our life. 

Change welcomes acceptance. 

When I was tangled up in the emotional trauma of losing my mom, it was extremely difficult to welcome anything, yet alone acceptance. I knew that she was physically gone, but mentally and emotionally I couldn’t grasp it. I wanted answers. I wanted to understand why this was happening to me. These two words kept me in death’s grip: controlling my thoughts, feelings, and actions. The loss of my mom wasn’t just consuming me, it was defining me. 

Acceptance welcomes change. 

A life defined by death, isn’t really a life at all. I wanted to believe that there was something more, something better for me. These two words created an energy shift within; opening a space that allowed the built-up emotions to be set free. The realization that the loss of my mom didn’t happen to me; it happened for me. 

There was purpose in my pain.

This marked the start of the Heart-o-lution; the movement that encourages women to BE SET FREE.